You work out of a Hotel?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
