You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am available for nakedness
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
