Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
