I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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