So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
