Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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