But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
