best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All the doctor said was why
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
