Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
