She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My ass is underappreciated
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If its not for food we ain't going out.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
