it wasn't lemon gatorade
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
