You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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