I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
