I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
