Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize