You work out of a Hotel?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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