He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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