She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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