My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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