CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
