Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize