Sry I called you an 8
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
