As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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