I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
