Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
