it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
