I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
