yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
