I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize