we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Farmville is her only friend.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
