You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
