I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
