I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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