apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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