Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
