the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
