I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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