I cannot find my penis.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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