i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
