I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
