would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
