the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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