apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am midnight drunk by noon
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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