You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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