Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
