Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
