Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
