I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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