its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
