i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
