bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize