i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
