I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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