So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
