Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
