how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
