I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
