I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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