She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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